Commitmentphobic

"The key to understanding commitmentphobia is recognizing that such behavior is rooted in fear -- fear of lost options or fear of making poor decisions. The commitmentphobic mind sees decisions as permanent, opening the possibility of being caged or trapped forever with no means of escape. Commitmentphobia is a real disabling fear, that can be manifest in many areas of life, including career, home ownership, or even shoe shopping. This fear can make simple every day decisions into a tremendous burden." wikipedia.org

I am commitmentphobic.

Hey the first step is supposed to be the hardest right? Although I've always thought that to be a lie personally. I'll admit a lot of things - it's changing it that's hard. Whatever. Who am I to try to change old adages.

This term describes me all too well. I mean if you've ever tried to get me to make a decision then you know to the extent it reaches. "What ifs" can quickly become my enemy instead of my option, leaving me hanging out in limbo for what seems an eternity even over the simplest of decisions. Throw in literal life changing decisions and well it's just not pretty.

So here I stand on the edge of a grand canyon of sorts in my mind and it seems that if I commit then I am flinging myself over the edge and believing it is ok no matter the outcome.